Advanced Dinner Etiquette

Some more in-depth pointers for fine dining:

1. Don’t point out other’s etiquette blunders. The point of manners is to put others at ease. It would be impolite to embarrass another diner.

2. If the bill is going to be split between several couples, politely tell the server before you order.

3. Wait until all of your friends are served before you begin to eat.

4. Turn off your cell phone, or at least put it on vibrate for the duration of the meal. Don’t talk or text at the table, excuse yourself.

5. Don’t set your purse on the table, set it in the side of your chair, or on the floor by your feet.

6. When eating bread, don’t move your bread plate. Tear off a small bite sized piece, butter it, and eat it. Don’t butter the whole piece and bite off of it! Don’t use your bread to dip into soup or to mop up sauce.

7. Drinking water – don’t slurp!

8. Don’t pick your teeth or lick your fingers!

9. If you excuse yourself during the meal, lay your napkin on your chair – this tells the waiter that you are coming back.

10. Pass the salt and pepper together (try to remember that they’re married and like to always be together!)

11. Don’t disrupt other diners; be respectful of what they’re out celebrating!

12. Don’t stack your dishes for the waiter, he will do this!

13. When you set your silverware down during the meal, set them at 4 o’clock and 8 o’clock. When you’re finished, set them together at 4 o’clock. This signals the waiter to clear your plate.

14. When you are finished eating (right before you leave), place your napkin on the table near your plate.

15. Tipping is never required, but is usually expected. Generally, a 15-20% tip is expected for excellent service. Figure this based on the food total, before discounts and taxes. Keep in mind, some restaurants automatically add gratuity (tip) for parties of a certain size. Check your bill to make sure you aren’t double-tipping. If they have added 10 or 15% and you want to tip more, figure the difference and add it.

Beginners Dinner Etiquette

When dining in a fine restaurant, this is likely what you’ll see in front of you.

Your date or the waiter should pull out your chair and help you get seated before he sits. If he doesn’t – don’t make a big deal of it, just seat yourself. Be careful not to tear your dress!

1. First things first – napkin in your lap. Depending on where you eat, the waiter may do this for you, so don’t get upset he does.

2. When you are eating a multi-course meal, you’ll likely begin with soup or salad. You’ll notice in the diagram above that the soup spoon and salad fork are on the outside. This is a good rule of thumb no matter what you’re eating. If you’re unsure about which silverware to use, start at the outside and work your way in.

3. Once you’ve used a piece of silverware, it should never touch the table again. Rest it on the side of your plate, with the bottom side facing up.

4. As the dishes are cleared after each course, the silverware will go with it. Don’t worry; they’ll bring you another spoon for dessert!

5. If you need to get up during the meal, please excuse yourself. You don’t need to announce your trip to the ladies room, just ask to be excused for a moment.

6. Don’t apply make up at the table, be excused to the ladies room.

7. Don’t speak with food in your mouth, swallow first.

8. Don’t gesture with your silverware; it should be resting on the edge of your plate when not in use.

9. Don’t reach across the table, ask someone to pass what you need.

HOW TO - Turn Down Mr. Wrong

So he asked you to the prom...but he's not exactly your idea of a dream date. Don't scar the poor guy for life with a scathing eye-roll and a catty comeback! But that doesn't mean you're stuck with him, either. We've got five tips for turning down his offer without breaking his heart.


Be gentle.
Even if you're totally grossed out, act polite (and don't laugh!). It took a lot of nerve for him to ask you, and you've got to give him some cred for that. Make sure you say that you think it was very sweet of him to ask. If you seem (or better, are) genuinely flattered, it takes out a little bit of the sting.


Say it in person.
You owe it to him to say it to his face. Rejection always hurts, but rejection via phone, email, IM, or text message is a lot more painful. If you're worried you'll freak out, mentally rehearse what you're going to say (just enough 'til you think you can make it through flub-free).


Don’t give him false hope.
Looking him in the eye and lying ("Ohh, I'm sooo sorry -- I already have a date for the prom") is only going to come back to bite you later. You don't want to deal with the consequences (or the karma) when he finds out about your deception. After all, you'd be giving him false hope by sounding interested -- and then crushing it. You might think you're doing him a favor (and let's face it, you're letting yourself off easy), but you need to be truthful and just say no. If you want, say you don't have a date yet but that you "have a feeling" someone else is about to ask. Don't name anyone. You don't have to prove it's true. He'll take the hint. You prefer someone else (whether or not he's about to ask). Don't babble and go into details to try and soften the blow. Think: short and sweet. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.


Go with the group.
Maybe you like him enough as a person, but you don't want to slow dance with him. "A whole bunch of us are going as a group and it would be great if you came too" is the prom equivalent of "I think we should just be friends." Sure, he won't be super-happy that you didn't want to go with him as his date, but at least you'll have the chance to salvage things (and he'll have the chance to have a fun night hanging out with you and your buds).


Pair him off.
Best-case scenario? Sure, he's not your idea of a dream date, but you've got a friend who'd be thrilled to arrive on his arm. If you're sure she'll be game (you don't want him to face rejection twice, do you?), say, "I'm super-flattered that you asked me, but I can't accept. My friend really wants to go with you, and she'll never forgive me." Then you can give him some tips on asking her to the dance. Problem solved! You're freed up to find Mr. Right and you've definitely done your good deed for the day.

Article from http://www.prom-spots.com/ps_article(54).htm