HOW TO - Turn Down Mr. Wrong

So he asked you to the prom...but he's not exactly your idea of a dream date. Don't scar the poor guy for life with a scathing eye-roll and a catty comeback! But that doesn't mean you're stuck with him, either. We've got five tips for turning down his offer without breaking his heart.


Be gentle.
Even if you're totally grossed out, act polite (and don't laugh!). It took a lot of nerve for him to ask you, and you've got to give him some cred for that. Make sure you say that you think it was very sweet of him to ask. If you seem (or better, are) genuinely flattered, it takes out a little bit of the sting.


Say it in person.
You owe it to him to say it to his face. Rejection always hurts, but rejection via phone, email, IM, or text message is a lot more painful. If you're worried you'll freak out, mentally rehearse what you're going to say (just enough 'til you think you can make it through flub-free).


Don’t give him false hope.
Looking him in the eye and lying ("Ohh, I'm sooo sorry -- I already have a date for the prom") is only going to come back to bite you later. You don't want to deal with the consequences (or the karma) when he finds out about your deception. After all, you'd be giving him false hope by sounding interested -- and then crushing it. You might think you're doing him a favor (and let's face it, you're letting yourself off easy), but you need to be truthful and just say no. If you want, say you don't have a date yet but that you "have a feeling" someone else is about to ask. Don't name anyone. You don't have to prove it's true. He'll take the hint. You prefer someone else (whether or not he's about to ask). Don't babble and go into details to try and soften the blow. Think: short and sweet. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.


Go with the group.
Maybe you like him enough as a person, but you don't want to slow dance with him. "A whole bunch of us are going as a group and it would be great if you came too" is the prom equivalent of "I think we should just be friends." Sure, he won't be super-happy that you didn't want to go with him as his date, but at least you'll have the chance to salvage things (and he'll have the chance to have a fun night hanging out with you and your buds).


Pair him off.
Best-case scenario? Sure, he's not your idea of a dream date, but you've got a friend who'd be thrilled to arrive on his arm. If you're sure she'll be game (you don't want him to face rejection twice, do you?), say, "I'm super-flattered that you asked me, but I can't accept. My friend really wants to go with you, and she'll never forgive me." Then you can give him some tips on asking her to the dance. Problem solved! You're freed up to find Mr. Right and you've definitely done your good deed for the day.

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